Blueberry Cheesecake Days

Something good always happens when it’s blueberry cheesecake day at Culver’s.

Culver’s rotates the custard-of-the-day down a lengthy list of flavors, so it’s only blueberry cheesecake day once a month at best. When the day is over they pack up the leftovers in pint containers and sell them from the freezer.

My mouth was introduced to the wonder of blueberry cheesecake custard with Michelle after a looooong day. I was skeptical of custard because its cousin, ice cream, makes my stomach hurt. Custard, however, offends me in no fashion. I ate my portion with Michelle until closing time and we made a huge deal about how awesome it was to the manager. He gave us extra cheesecake bites and agreed to make the next blueberry cheesecake day April 4 for Michelle’s birthday.

My second blueberry cheesecake day was April 4, and the manager even put HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE on the marquee while we were all lunching there as female neighbors + Matt McMullin.

My third blueberry cheesecake day was illegitimate as I went in for a fish sandwich with Frenchie on orange dreamsicle day. Dreamsicle doesn't tempt me. As I ordered, the manager Dave (we were on a first name basis by then) exclaimed, “Hey, it was blueberry cheesecake day yesterday and you didn’t come in!” While Frenchie and I ate our fish sandwiches he walked over and gave me a free pint of blueberry cheesecake. What Dave didn't know is two days ago my IVF failed and this was the first time I was out in public. I have written on one of my lists to THANK DAVE with a nice note and a jar of homemade spaghetti sauce.

My fourth blueberry cheesecake day was last Wednesday. I was trying to ignore flavor of the day on the marquee as I drove home from yoga. Please be gross. Please be gross. Please be orange dreamsicle. BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE. Cripes. I barely made it home with my custard-free willpower. Thing is, on the way home from yoga I was all sad because everywhere I look people have what I want. I know it’s not really true but it’s how my eyes see it sometimes. Pregnancy and babies everywhere. People moving everywhere. People going to Disneyland and Europe everywhere. Thick ponytails everywhere. You know what I mean. My state of mind was low and I was feeling sorry for myself. I had been thinking about my friend Julia because she is one of two people I personally know that had a failed IVF. It’s so random, but I remember as passed the blueberry cheesecake sign thinking Julia, I need you.

At home I soaked in the tub while my ipad read me The Book of Mormon. Multitasking. As soon as I was dressed there was a knock at the door and it was Julia. (Keep in mind I’ve probably only talked to Julia ten times in my life. We were fast friends but never cross paths.) Beautiful Julia in her pink coat and scarf and sleeping kids in the car and knowledge of how I feel. How it feels to pay off the Discover bill without a souvenir to show for the spending. How it feels to have knots of progesterone in your hips a month later. How it feels to second-guess yourself and wonder if you heard all the inspiration and saw all the miracles wrong. How it feels to be haunted by ticking clocks and question marks.

Julia said she wrote me a letter December 13 but ran out of ink and then intended on reprinting the letter on pretty paper. She also made me homemade caramels but then her family got sick and now they were weeks old and she guessed they were probably stale. Guess what? Her timing, her words and her caramels could not have been more perfect. I thought about this essay I love as I pulled the twists of wax paper off of the not-even-close-to-stale caramels and reveled at how wonderful days can unfold from such yucky starts. I have to quote the essay:

Most ministering opportunities are spontaneous, not planned in advance. Chapter 9 of the Gospel of Matthew is an amazing illustration of that. Early in the chapter, the Savior disembarked a ship. A man with palsy was brought to Him. Jesus stopped and healed him. Then Jesus had a discussion with the Pharisees and a man interrupted, saying his daughter had died. So Jesus left to assist the man. On His way, a woman touched His garment. Jesus healed her. He continued on His way and raised the girl from the dead. As He departed her home, two blind men followed Him, and He healed them. As He continued on His way, He cast the devil from a man possessed. All of this took place as He went.

My friends are all loving, helpful people. But none of my friends sit around bored all day wondering who they should love and help. They are busy. We are all busy. We buzz to and fro with our calendars and schedules and to-do lists and somehow squeeze in unplanned drive bys or texts or Dough Boy brownies or chats. I am learning that between all of life’s necessary busyness is where the good stuff happens.

This blueberry cheesecake day was a winner because Julia took the time as she went to show up at my house with grand-but-unfulfilled-intentions. I didn’t need pretty paper or darker ink or fresher treats. I needed her.

Every time it’s blueberry cheesecake day I've had a living witness people are extraordinary, unexpected and sincere. Custard is good, people are better.

*This is my real pint of custard. I did not write the flavor. It came that way. It does not contain any chess pieces. Funny typo. I also went to Culver's last night (1-28-13) and delivered the note and jar of sauce. Feeling good.