Pro Tempore

I've been reading We're Going on a Bear Hunt to my little boys a lot. I read it like a chant with my leg keeping the rhythm. Whichever boy gets the bouncy leg enjoys it all the more.

We're going on a bear hunt, we're gonna catch a big one. What a beautiful day! We're not scared! They're not scared until they hit the roadblocks: oozy mud, deep rivers, whirly swirly snowstorms, dark caves. We can't go over it, we can't go under it. Oh no, we've got to go THROUGH it. Every time I read it I hear the African American spiritual "My God is so High" in my head:

My God is so high you can't get over Him

He's so low you can't get under Him

He's so wide you can't get around Him

You must come in, by and THROUGH the Lamb*

This last go-round of speed reading the Book of Mormon made one thing very obvious to me: it's all about Jesus. Everything points to Him and all roads lead to Him no matter what road you started on. However, I also noticed that while Jesus is the endpoint, if you will, he's also the middle, the here and now, the pro tempore. I can explain with mazes.

This is the maze I imagined as a child, when I was taught truths with flannel boards and filmstrips: 

I thought if I worked really hard at being really good then I'd meet Jesus after I died, and if I was good enough I'd get to live with him forever. This maze isn't inaccurate but it sure is lonely.

This is the maze I see now:

Yes, Jesus is at the end, but he's also here today, for the bear hunt, for the THROUGH. (Careful, I'm mixing my metaphors. RE always rolls her eyes and says, "Mom! Too many metaphors! Just say it!") He is the Good Shepherd who will picnic and roam with me through waving grass. He is the Redeemer who will clean up my mud stains. And he is the Light that banishes all shadows and makes caves bearable, if not pretty. Whoa! Sparkly stalactites!

This is all I'm trying to teach my kids, my young women, and anyone else who cares to hear. Jesus Christ is the world's individual and collective panacea. Whatever you need, Jesus is it. He will meet you now, as you are, and help you get somewhere better. He'll get you through so that when you finally meet him on the other side it won't be a formal meet and greet, it will be the reunion of best friends who are finally face to face. I love how President Russell M. Nelson said it:

In a coming day, you will present yourself before the Savior. You will be overwhelmed to the point of tears to be in His holy presence. You will struggle to find words to thank Him for paying for your sins, for forgiving you of any unkindness toward others, for healing you from the injuries and injustices of this life.

You will thank Him for strengthening you to do the impossible, for turning your weaknesses into strengths, and for making it possible for you to live with Him and your family forever. His identity, His Atonement, and His attributes will become personal and real for you.

Mazes certainly have times and seasons; I've run self-esteem mazes, scholastic mazes, dysfunctional family mazes, physical health mazes. Perhaps the most exhausting race I've run was the race of waiting, which mostly involved standing still. Stillness has its own way of killing confusion—of letting you hear what's on the other side of the wall and believing it is real.

President Nelson also talked about tough mazes:

We live in a most difficult dispensation. Challenges, controversies, and complexities swirl around us. These turbulent times were foreseen by the Savior. He warned us in our day the adversary would stir up anger in the hearts of men and lead them astray. Yet our Heavenly Father never intended that we would deal with the maze of personal problems and social issues on our own. God so loved the world that He sent His Only Begotten Son to help us. And His Son, Jesus Christ, gave His life for us. All so that we could have access to godly power—power sufficient to deal with the burdens, obstacles, and temptations of our day.

I don't think there's a human on earth not befuddled with the perplexities of a maze. All of our mazes are different and not everyone has a puzzle-loving mindset, so worry about your own maze and don't say things like, "No fair! Your maze is easier than mine!", because we're all bumping into walls and sharp corners and doing our best.

Isn't is telling that Jesus Christ, who is the expert of my life and the one who can see my progress stretched out for miles**, simply wants to walk beside me while I figure it all out.

Turtle comic featuring the word of the day: THROUGH.

Alternate line of the song sometimes reads "by and through the Door" (referencing John 10:9 "When Jesus said he was the door to the sheepfold, he meant that there is only one door or way by which one can return to God the Eternal Father. That door must be through Jesus himself and is a very narrow door which is designed and constructed to conform not only to his teachings but also to his works. If we enter in through that door, it must be in the Father’s way as Jesus demonstrated through his own life of instruction and service and not by some other way prescribed by man." -Theodore Burton) No matter, Christ is the Lamb and the Door so it doesn't really matter which way you sing it!

Photo of me and Greg in our leased green Honda Civic as we set out for life in 1997.

pro tempore < Latin "for the time being" (which I learned from the Pro Tempore art exhibit featuring the works of Ryan Moffett, Jason Lanegan, and Justin Wheatley that focused on enduring mortal trials)

**Matchbox Twenty "Could I Be You" lyric which pairs nicely with this line from the Draper Utah Temple Dedicatory Prayer on March 20, 2009:

In a time of departure from safe moorings, may youth of the noble birthright carry on in the traditions of their parents and grandparents. They are subjected to the sophistries of Satan. Help such youth to stand firm for truth and righteousness. Open wide to their view the gates of learning, of understanding, of service in Thy kingdom. Bless them with a lengthened view of their eternal possibilities.

Free image of Jesus from lds.org

Russell M. Nelson first quote here and second quote here

Last thing, but RE came home from school and we were standing by my window looking down at the grassy terraces in our back yard. The half-melted snow revealed grassless zig zag paths (WHY did voles get on the ark?) and RE said that our yard looked like pangea. Then she said, "Mom, did you know there's a word like pangea but with a c?" I vaguely recalled the word panacea but didn't know its meaning. After googling its definition (Greg was right, nobody uses dictionaries anymore) I realized it's the exact word I've been waiting for to finish this piece. I was just really thankful for RE, who is so often just what I need even though she doesn't know it. I counted the Saturdays until she goes to college as she was driving us home from the spin class she forced me to take with her and totally cried. I will miss her so much. I'll miss her playlists amplifying from the cup holder in the Honda, her health food, her sisterly kindness to the boys, and her light. Oh man, I'm not even kidding that Life Without Ari at Home is a maze I don't even want to step foot in.