Reinforce

In episode one of The World’s Most Extraordinary Homes (Netflix) there is Rural House, a contemporary, half-buried house in Spain made entirely from weathered steel. Eleven steel boxes, welded together with unexpected vision, look successful. Steel walls and steel ceilings stand firmly with unapologetic patinas of gray and rusted orange. The architect, who designed it for a Michelin star chef and her family, said he chose steel because “it is a material that shows the passage of time—it is full of life”.

As that line is narrated, cameras zoom in on a panel of textured lines, drips, and splotches—not a smooth sea of silver—and reveal the up close and personal of weathering.

Greg and I have looked at our wedding picture hanging on the wall these last 24 years and felt congruent to those posed whippersnappers until only recently. I don’t know when it happened. I saw a video of me holding baby RE 20 years ago and hardly recognized myself. This is why I appreciated the architect’s complimentary spin on the otherwise tactless truth that old steel can look…old. “Full of life” is the new old. Phew.

Once I was sleek, reflective, and factory fresh. Yet, somehow:

My last baby’s diapers were changed with arthritic hands. My eyebrows are fading and my ponytail fits in an orthodontic rubber band. I have a kneeling pad for weeding and the pitfall of travel is sleeping in a bed other than my own. My bones feel oncoming storms, I spend more money on sunscreen than makeup, and I crochet in traffic (as a passenger, of course). However, my wisdom, capacity, and gratitude stocks are up. I’m increasingly sentimental and decreasingly materialistic; give me a good meal, a sunset hike with arch support, and let me run into old friends at the grocery store now and then.

This is steel aging. This is me evolving into the newest version of myself. This is the development of a beautiful, unique patina.

Alas, I know I’m not the only one on FaceTime struggling with collagen loss and turkey neck here in the deep trench of middle age. I am bombarded with messages that I’m losing my luster and deserve a mommy makeover to reward myself for all I’ve gone through. Let me get this straight: I’m supposed to rock the cradle, save the planet, run the world, and defy gravity? Please. I don’t deserve syringes or incisions; I deserve to be celebrated for my worth.

Hank Smith lamented, “Media has destroyed the idea of beauty. We’ve been deluded into thinking that being beautiful is only about how one looks. It is so much more than that. For our grandparents and great-grandparents, beauty was about health, kindness, and vitality. We’ve watched it slowly become about body parts, crudeness, and lust. Like our food, beauty has become cheap, unhealthy, and it has a bitter aftertaste. Let’s return to the beauty of the past. Let’s celebrate and reward loyalty, health, and energy.”

Artist Natalie Hunsaker revealed that in her personal search to find “what beauty really means to God” she discovered beauty, as described in the scriptures, is sometimes interchangeable with the word glory. Glory is “an outward and visible manifestation of God’s presence”. Beauty is a countenance; it is immortal. Whatever you look like, the best you can look is to glow from goodness.

One last thing. Steel is a fortified version of iron made from iron and carbon. It is the second most mass-produced commodity next to cement and found everywhere: railroads, oil and gas pipelines, skyscrapers, elevators, subways, bridges, automobiles, ships, knives and forks, razors, and surgical instruments. Take that, every other material on earth! Steel—blue collar, ordinary, and not winning any awards—is basically holding civilization together. Could there be a better metaphor for the utilitarian and overlooked titans we call mothers? No wonder we look "full of life." Our lives are full!

I am good metal, and I deserve a medal for being both shield and shelter—for all I have withstood and all I choose to stand for—while exposed to an insanely corrosive world. 

Photo quote is a lyric from "Oblivion" by Bastille

Image of weathered steel snapped one front yard away. My awesome neighbors have a beautiful "Jackson Hole-esque" fountain that was *just* what I needed. Facts about steel obtained from www.metalsupermarkets.com

"It is not beauty that endears. It is love that makes us see beauty." -Tolstoy