Quench

I miss the American Fork Fitness Center, or AFFC if you’re in the know. It was the office water cooler my little city’s locals all hung around. With its used equipment and wet boy scouts running shoeless around the track—especially the corner molehills on the outer lane—it was the antithesis of Gold’s Gym, but never were there friendlier patrons. I can still hear the echoed duet of slamming racquetballs + squeaky sneakers and smell the chlorine tear gas that hit once the revolving door opened into “The Bubble”.

I spent my prime years there sculling with the water aerobics clan (referred to by rude lifeguards as “The Manatees”), pumping iron with Michelle (aka lowering whatever she was lifting by 10 or 30 pounds), and cooling down in the heartbeat muraled stretching room (every ceiling should be an exposed turquoise ceiling). On perfect summer nights, I would stall my return home with a quick walk through the cemetery to the obelisk and back. I do chuckle that the fitness center was next to the cemetery. As in, “Take care of yourself or go next door.”  

During its last renovation, the AFFC’s entrance water fountain was upgraded to a water fountain slash sensor-activated bottle filler—you know, the kind they have in fancy airports. This really jazzed up the existing hallway and rivaled the healthy-recipe-of-the-month bulletin board as far as pure entertainment went.

Due to the novelty of the new attraction, I usually topped off my water bottle before each workout whether I was headed down to the musty weight room, around the bend to the cardio corral, or outside to float on a pool noodle. Still, there were times I passed the fountain without a thought—in a hurry to get to a class or distracted with the Velcro on my lifting gloves—and only remembered it when cotton mouth or dizziness hit. (Can I pause here and say how legit I felt when I got weight-lifting gloves? This was right after I started shaving all my arm hair so my triceps could really shine, which was a direct result of the Spin room's amped-up playlist. Honestly, the gym can be a hazard for weirdness.)

As I was saying...

One such evening, during my routine vertigo on the Jacob’s Ladder torture device—my eyes were closed so I could pretend I was summiting Everest—I had the thought, “Dehydration doesn’t prove water doesn’t exist; it only proves I didn’t drink enough.”

This got a ball rolling in my brain and I started to really think about belief, agency, and the excuses we make, and would you believe I found answers in that revolutionary fountain?

This image reminds me of Heavenly Father’s constant and unchanging love for all His children. It has been said God’s love is like an everlasting bonfire—it never changes and always gives off the same heat—but the variable that determines how warm you feel is your proximity to the fire. When you are close to God, you feel his love. When you are far from Him, you feel little. The same thing goes for the water fountain. God's love could also be compared to an endless and eternally filtered water supply. Cold, invigorating, and life-sustaining. Anyone may drink from it! Still, God will never force anyone to partake of His love, or his plan, or his truth. You can choose to skip it and work out your own way, but you won't feel as good as you could.

This image reminds me the Lord is aware of my needs. Sometimes I need a little. Sometimes I need a lot. Regardless, he will provide. The fountain will fill any container in any condition as long as there is an opening. Open bottles succeed. Similarly, open hearts can be filled, but hard hearts have lids—so if you claim to be thirsty, make sure you are serious about receiving.

I was taught to harness the power of morning prayer. In my morning prayers, I tell the Lord my plans for the day, the things I hope to accomplish, and what I need to get done. Then I ask for His help—if it is His will those things should happen—and leave a little spot vacant for a change of plans. I ask to know who I should help and how. It is amazing how the Lord helps me conquer my lists. It is also amazing how He helps me forget my lists when a greater need arises. I’ve probably asked for him to strengthen my back or body or mind ten thousand times. I ask for very specific help, like knowing how to support my individual children, selling RE's car on KSL, coming up with a creative Christmas card, or finding a plumber. To me, praying is like positioning my bottle right under the spout and knowing someway, somehow, the exact amount of help I need will come.

As a child, I loved the adage, "If you're too busy to pray, and too busy to listen, you're too busy." My revision: "If you're too busy to fill up, and too busy to drink, you're too busy." Prayer is like proper bottle placement, but scripture study is where I get most of my water. (And the temples are like super-strength vitamin water charged with electrolytes! Please reopen soon!) 

This image is Omniscient Overflow. 

In 2005, Greg and I were promised “through our faithfulness and our generous tithes and offerings” we would be blessed. Aware of the famous and oft-quoted scripture in Malachi, I began to await the downpour and overflow of blessings through heaven’s windows—first and foremost in the form of babies. We know how that turned out. Still, life was beyond good. We had a house of order, good health, fat harvests, and a unique and fulfilling relationship with our only daughter. In 2013, scarcely weeks pregnant with Archer, Elder David A. Bednar spoke in General Conference and mentioned gratitude and contentment were some of the “subtle but significant” blessings of paying tithing.

In that moment, I knew being satisfied all those years—despite no second baby—was a blessing bestowed on us because of our consistency and love of paying tithing. Eight years later a promise made sense; we’d been watching the sky for flying babies as the remarkable gift of “good enough for now” unknowingly fell upon us. (I’m not saying I was Perky Penny for nine years—of course I had a good cry or a low spell now and again—but overall we had a very happy decade.)

Elder Bednar also expounded on what else windows can do. I had always looked at heaven’s windows as a trap door of sorts, the opening He could drop all my temporal deliveries through. Yet Elder Bednar taught, “Windows allow natural light to enter into a building. In like manner, spiritual illumination and perspective are poured out through the windows of heaven and into our lives as we honor the law of tithing.” I instantly understood this as well. When the going got tough and our fertility procedures failed, I patiently stood still in faith and learned more spiritually in the two years that followed than I did in the preceding entirety of my life. The famine taught me how to feast, and it was an all-you-can-eat buffet of gleams, beams, and streams of blazing light—the kind of light you can live on.

One correction: I know I just said the water fountain's sensor was accurate to my every need, but then I remembered all of the times the water kept gushing and wouldn't stop, spilling over the top of my bottle. It reminds me that despite the Lord knowing my needs and wants He often (always?) gives me more than I deserve. Maybe the sensor is for proximity, not capacity, because isn’t this how a merciful God often operates? Heavenly Father hasn’t ever seemed to care if I was mostly full or bone dry; all I know is as I’ve remained close to Him I’ve been drenched with succor to the very definition of “no room to receive it”.

Photo #1 scripture: Doctrine & Covenants 88:63

Photo #2 quote from the hymn "How Firm a Foundation", text attributed to Robert Keen circa 1787

Photo #3 scripture: Malachi 3:10

Direct quote: “A subtle but significant blessing we receive is the spiritual gift of gratitude that enables our appreciation for what we have to constrain desires for what we want. A grateful person is rich in contentment.” Original address here.

My all-time, hands-down, favorite recipe from the AFFC bulletin board. I made it today since we got fresh cider in our produce subscription box. It's basically autumn in a bowl. Please enjoy and use cherries instead of craisins!

General Conference quote heard years later that made me think of the water fountain: "I do not think God is insulted when we forget Him. Rather, I think He is deeply disappointed. He knows that we have deprived ourselves of the opportunity to draw closer to Him by remembering Him and His goodness." (Elder Dale Renlund, "Consider the Goodness and Greatness of God," April 2020 General Conference)