Acrobat

In June of 2012 I blogged about falling off of a tightrope. I used a card from my childhood deck of Crazy Eights for the image. The number 11 card displayed a happy-looking female trapeze artist swinging high above an elephant.

I had just miscarried after ten years of babywanting.

Two weeks after the folly we went to Colorado Springs to visit Greg's family. The circus was in town and his sister had set some tickets aside for us. The last thing I felt like doing was going to the circus but as I sat surrounded by toy dogs jumping through hoops and motorcycles driving on ropes this message came through on my phone:

Dear Melissa:

I am so sad to hear that you aren’t pregnant anymore.

I’m not sure what your future plans are in this area of your life. The one thing I’ve learned after 12 years of infertility is that you never know what Heavenly Father has in store for you. It isn’t over “until the fat lady sings” and I thought she had sung twice for me. I’m not sure that that is any comfort to you, but I do know that Heavenly Father is mindful of His daughters who want to have more children. I will keep praying for you and hoping that the fat lady is still in her dressing room.

Julia

Julia was qualified to give me advice because she endured 12 years of infertility, two failed cycles of in vitro, two adoptions and 2 miracle pregnancies in her 40s. She might have felt barren but she ended up with four boys. She was right. She had no idea what the Lord had in store for her.

Coincidentally, no fat lady sang a final note at the Colorado Springs circus. I'm not sure when that tradition stopped. Probably when they replaced melodious rotund beauties with super creepy clowns.

I left the circus with a mind full of wonder. What was in my future? At that moment I had no idea what the Lord had in store for me.

He had 2 in vitro cycles in my future and he placed Julia in my life to get me through the first one. He had a medical diagnosis, two amazing doctors less than 20 miles away, a lifetime of physical therapy, a few hundred shots of imported drugs and as many days of patience on my agenda. He also supplied me with an army of friends and supporters.

This morning via 16 ounces of water in my bladder, cold blue tummy gel and a magic wand I saw a preview of what the Lord has been saving for me all these years: a baby boy. He's been very dynamic in all the ultrasounds. "Abundant movement" they write on my chart.

A little acrobat is just what my circus has been missing. 

My older sister Suzette has been my #1 fertility cheerleader. During in vitro she would call and leave funny, encouraging messages on the machine for my follicles and uterus. She would text me when she knew I was heading to an appointment. She cried the hardest when we failed. Last week I flew to Missouri to have some sister time with her. I was not surprised that she already had a baby gift for me. It's just typical Suz. She bought Baby a vintage oval lunch tin with a circus painted on it. A beautiful, muted, clown-free circus with an elephant holding a blue balloon in its trunk. I should have known it was a sign.